Archive for November, 2013|Monthly archive page

What Makes You Happy vs. What Will Make You Happy

In Thoughts on November 14, 2013 at 6:22 pm


So many times, I have contemplated my major. I’ve changed it three times officially, but have considered alternate major/minor, double major, or major and specialty combos relentlessly. I can’t even count the amount of possible combinations I have legitimately considered.


Let me give you a brief overview, so you know where I am coming from. I came into college knowing I was interested in Marketing, but since I had said I’d major in Journalism since I was about 11, I played it safe and declared my major as Journalism with an emphasis on Print and a minor in Marketing. I then decided that my true passion was English – which is true don’t get me wrong – so I declared a major in English with a concentration on Advanced Composition and Rhetoric, and yet again a minor in Marketing, This was very short lived as I began to realize that it may not be the best choice for me when I enter the job market a few years later.


Alas, I finally declared my major in Marketing and only Marketing. I was afraid of majoring in this for so long because my college has a great business program and this major would also bring on many more math classes, which I dreaded. I am so good at so many subjects but throw numbers in the mix and I become completely incompetent. Nevertheless, I am currently struggling through Corporate Finance at the moment – so terribly that I may have to retake the class. This is coming to you from a student whose GPA is a 3.48, which is the lowest it has been in my 2.5 years of college! I am by no means dumb nor am I lazy, I just genuinely don’t understand! Throw that on top of a terrible math foundation starting in 8th grade with algebra and you could say I’m math illiterate. 


What I’d like you to see is that I have many passions: culture, the English language, British & American literature, etc. All of them are things that make me happy. I enjoy learning about all of my passions, yes including marketing, but I hate what I am putting myself through studying in the business program. My other two majors were in the Arts school, and I legitimately had interest in every class I had to take. Now I am stuck simply waiting on my enjoyable major classes as I struggle through awful math classes that I am more than certainly NOT enjoying nor learning much from. 


I think the conclusion I am trying to make is that I would have enjoyed every minute of majoring in an Arts major, because I enjoy learning about all of it, but I may not have been as happy with my options in the long run. I have opted for the less than pleasant learning experience that I believe will make me happier in the long run because I will have more opportunities. I can always be a novelist with a Marketing degree, but could I have been in Marketing or Advertising with an English degree? Not very likely. I would have learned much more of what I care about, and enjoyed the ride, but I would have not been satisfied with my ending results.


And so I’ll conclude by adding that this isn’t like me. I am not a reason-minded person, I am a feeler. I go with my intuition and I follow my heart. I don’t feel like I am doing that right now but I feel a bit stuck. I enjoy learning about things that interest me but I am having trouble forcing myself to be interested in things that simply don’t. I probably just need a little assurance, someone to remind me that it is good to be logical. Until then, I will stick it out and continue to work hard at the classes I don’t understand and really give myself time to enjoy my passions, because these make me happy in the current term.


Sorry for the haphazard thought process in this post, but sometimes at 20, you just need to express your confusion and hope someone will come along and give some encouraging words to keep you going. 


Que the encouraging words.


Things I believe will make me happy

In Thoughts on November 3, 2013 at 7:05 pm



Well, it’s no secret to those closest to me that I haven’t been the happiest lately. The odd thing is that I feel like my mind wants to be depressed, but my body (and the Prozac I’m on) won’t allow it. You know when you just need to be sad? Those days where you just want to be a lazy recluse and bury yourself under the covers to reflect on how truly shitty you feel? Maybe it’s just me but I need those times. I find that allowing yourself to be sad helps sort of “round out” the process of whatever current emotions are going on in your mind. I’ve had a long while of this sad time… weeks, months… hell, I don’t even know. What I do know is that I finally feel ready for some change.

I want to enjoy my life, and I think I have found the solution as my busy calendar is slowly letting up. I need to go back to the basics. I need to cut the bullshit out of my life and focus on the important things. The things that are of value to me will certainly not pertain to everyone, but I feel it’s necessary to share my list with others. Maybe this is the first step of the process, or maybe it’s just me getting these things off my chest so I can finally begin to pursue them. Whatever the reasoning, here it is. My “back to basics” list:


1. Exercising – as a mood-booster. For too long I have only thought of exercising as a way to loose weight. There isn’t much motivation in that when you are on antidepressants that tell your brain ‘it’s OK to be lazy.’ I remember how much I enjoy the benefits of it, so now I just need to make it happen. I used to relieve stress so much by doing high intensity work-outs and I think it’s about time I get back into this to help relieve this stress I’ve been feeling. I want that runners-high again, that rush of endorphins… and a good body wouldn’t hurt as a result. 🙂


2. Eating well – I don’t just mean eat healthily. I find that when I eat real meals as opposed to grabbing whatever protein-filled snack I can find really does make me feel better. It also doesn’t hurt that eating a real meal forces me to sit down and relax as I eat, instead of stuffing a greek yogurt in my mouth on my way to school.


3. Beauty regimens – I am about as girly as they come, and nothing makes me feel more indulgent or like I’m taking care of myself then face masks, painting my nails, using night cremes, etc. I think taking the time out to do these things makes me feel like I am making myself a priority, and I like that. I will try to do more of this when needed since it really does relax me more than anything.


4. Occasional yoga – I have never been able to keep up with doing yoga everyday. I’ve always wished I could, but it just doesn’t work out that way. I do, however, enjoy the occasional stress-relieving routine, as well as the even more rare strength-building routine after a good cardio work-out. The meditation that comes along with yoga is also always more rewarding to my mental state than I remember each time. 


5. Looking good – I may not be high-fashion like I used to (15 year old me knew every runway trend, every season), but that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the occasional dip into the fashion world. I like to look nice on a daily basis- which is certainly something I need to amp up lately. But I also like to do a bold burgundy lipstick or get a nice pair of “it” shoes to keep me somewhat trendy. It’s fun to make others think I have good fashion sense, so I need to remind myself how much I enjoy these sporadic little shopping sprees or fashion-forward outfits out to dinner.


6. Keeping my life organized – This may be the biggest of them all. When my apartment is a mess, I’m a mess. When my schoolwork is sloppy, my life feels sloppy. I can never truly be content with my life if I am not organized in all the aspects that I feel are important. The problem lately is that I will organize, and then get lazy and not keep up with it. I’m so sick of everything in my life being one large unorganized hot mess. This should be the easiest fix, so I’m going in on this one with full force. I will get to cleaning, and get back on routine starting today. This usually kicks-off a boost to my mood so hopefully this will be a better week for me!



Here’s to finding happiness again!